I finally found out why my face has been hurting so much the last two weeks and it was a shock to me, I found out by accident I have a new tooth growing through. That explains all the earaches, jawaches, neuralgia, headaches and the sensation of feeling like my face is a puffed up balloon. Hopefully it comes through completely soon I'm fed up of feeling like I've been punched hard in face.
Let's see Mum has been hyper we finaly complete on wednesday it's so complicated to try and explain, but things kept getting delayed but said we had extanged contracts today.
Mum kept asking me what was wrong. How do you explain to someone putting it bluntly you feel like shit, I tried to put on a happy face but just didn't have the energy to even place a smile on my face. To top that off my partners wireless been acting up so he can't come online even if he wanted to he just gets poofed off every five seconds so all in all it is just a crap day.
Lastly been playing music and the song If your reading this by Tim McGraw I hadn't really listened to it fully. But tonight just hearing it is enough to bring tears to my eyes which is very rare for me. I guess with my aches i'm just feeling cruddy. I'm missing my father like mad and this song has made me think of him. I would give the earth for a hug from my Dad and my last tie for memories is now longer ours.
It's been 7 and a bit years no one has come close to the hugs my father gave. =0)
Monday, 30 July 2007
Saturday, 28 July 2007
My personality
Ice
You are cold and in some ways numb. You block out your emotions because you simply cant deal with them. Your favorate moments are ones you spend alone, and even then you dont quite feel yourself. You are seen as strong and "tough", and yes it is true but more then that you are fragile and sensitive. The blanket of stone around you is your way dealing with something. It wont be solved untill you face it.
You are cold and in some ways numb. You block out your emotions because you simply cant deal with them. Your favorate moments are ones you spend alone, and even then you dont quite feel yourself. You are seen as strong and "tough", and yes it is true but more then that you are fragile and sensitive. The blanket of stone around you is your way dealing with something. It wont be solved untill you face it.
Friday, 27 July 2007
Uhmmmmmmmmmn what Do I put here????????
Not sure what to put here for my daily blog...............
Thinkng hard...............
Tooooooo hard to think..................
Brain Farts....................
I'm an idiot with nothing to say...................
uhmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.,.........................
Wondering when its going to rain......................
How far is Texas?...................
Dog keeps panting.................
Other dog pillow hog.................
Can smell plants from garden wow maybe i'm turning into a dog...........................
Ewwwwwwww dog just parped..............
My bedroom is stinkey..........................
Heh say what ghosties sat on Jays bed....................
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Carolinaaaaaa...............................
Now I'm being squashed by the farting one............................
Helpppppppppppppp..................
Wonders what it means when I say I'm a loony brit...............
How many people believe I'm a loon..................
LMAO
That's all for the day folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thinkng hard...............
Tooooooo hard to think..................
Brain Farts....................
I'm an idiot with nothing to say...................
uhmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.,.........................
Wondering when its going to rain......................
How far is Texas?...................
Dog keeps panting.................
Other dog pillow hog.................
Can smell plants from garden wow maybe i'm turning into a dog...........................
Ewwwwwwww dog just parped..............
My bedroom is stinkey..........................
Heh say what ghosties sat on Jays bed....................
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Carolinaaaaaa...............................
Now I'm being squashed by the farting one............................
Helpppppppppppppp..................
Wonders what it means when I say I'm a loony brit...............
How many people believe I'm a loon..................
LMAO
That's all for the day folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, 25 July 2007
Today has been a quiet day
I realised today I havn't posted a daily blog in a while.
Today has been quiet although strange and surreal. Laughs I was chatting to my online boyfreind about car crashes today which was an unusual topic for us lol but was very cool. We talked about the comparison between the UK and US emergency services responce to RTAs. I was shocked and a lil and angry to hear about the lack of responce on accidents if a person says they are Ok it is beleived. However we both agreed that all vitals and checks should be carried at the crash scene, also seatbelts should be made a priority within US states if drive without one here you are in world of hurt a huge ass fine. How do you all feel about airbags after hearing what happened to my boyfreind with a airbag I swear they are lethal.
I also hadn't realised how long it had been since i spoke of my family, most my freinds and adopted family hear about is my immediate family. For those of your who are curious I will be posting more pictures on photobucket tomorrow as I have decided I want to Update my photos of the other half of my rl family.
=0)
What else I love comparing the US to the UK it so wonderful to see the differences in the systems we also spoke of the forces and their individual standings. Here in UK each force aka Army, TA Army, SAS, Navy, RAF and Queens Guard are stand alone although if needed they will work together. Whereas in states they will work in conjuction closely backed up by The reserves.
The police, Paramedics, coastguard, Fire dept do work closely in conjuction if needed. I find it fascinating how Fire dept in states are often trained paramedics as well wheras here they are completely seperate.
Hehe mhnnnn what else, maybe a road trip is in order I would love to learn more, this is the stuff you do not learn as a tourist you pick up information through freinds and adopted family in states.
Another conversation that had me curious something I call sympathy syndrome.
I can see a few raised eyebrows, the meaning is where you share the same pain or symptoms with no apparent injuries.
I was shocked when I somehow knew he had bashed his knee at the exact moment I asked. My mother suffers the same sympathy syndrome, expecially with my late father it was quite apparent. I have only known it between myself my mother and my father and also between mum and John. I only get it when I am close to someone although I get visions (premonitions) in dreams. Hmnn but how is it someone 100s of miles away knows if either of us is ill we immediately know. Is that a flukey coincidence or sign of soulmates? I find it facinating I always have done. I would love to know what causes such a strong link like that. Bearing in mind I only speak to him through IMs you can physically tell anything from their voice so how does it work?
Well thats all folks!!!!!!!!!!
Today has been quiet although strange and surreal. Laughs I was chatting to my online boyfreind about car crashes today which was an unusual topic for us lol but was very cool. We talked about the comparison between the UK and US emergency services responce to RTAs. I was shocked and a lil and angry to hear about the lack of responce on accidents if a person says they are Ok it is beleived. However we both agreed that all vitals and checks should be carried at the crash scene, also seatbelts should be made a priority within US states if drive without one here you are in world of hurt a huge ass fine. How do you all feel about airbags after hearing what happened to my boyfreind with a airbag I swear they are lethal.
I also hadn't realised how long it had been since i spoke of my family, most my freinds and adopted family hear about is my immediate family. For those of your who are curious I will be posting more pictures on photobucket tomorrow as I have decided I want to Update my photos of the other half of my rl family.
=0)
What else I love comparing the US to the UK it so wonderful to see the differences in the systems we also spoke of the forces and their individual standings. Here in UK each force aka Army, TA Army, SAS, Navy, RAF and Queens Guard are stand alone although if needed they will work together. Whereas in states they will work in conjuction closely backed up by The reserves.
The police, Paramedics, coastguard, Fire dept do work closely in conjuction if needed. I find it fascinating how Fire dept in states are often trained paramedics as well wheras here they are completely seperate.
Hehe mhnnnn what else, maybe a road trip is in order I would love to learn more, this is the stuff you do not learn as a tourist you pick up information through freinds and adopted family in states.
Another conversation that had me curious something I call sympathy syndrome.
I can see a few raised eyebrows, the meaning is where you share the same pain or symptoms with no apparent injuries.
I was shocked when I somehow knew he had bashed his knee at the exact moment I asked. My mother suffers the same sympathy syndrome, expecially with my late father it was quite apparent. I have only known it between myself my mother and my father and also between mum and John. I only get it when I am close to someone although I get visions (premonitions) in dreams. Hmnn but how is it someone 100s of miles away knows if either of us is ill we immediately know. Is that a flukey coincidence or sign of soulmates? I find it facinating I always have done. I would love to know what causes such a strong link like that. Bearing in mind I only speak to him through IMs you can physically tell anything from their voice so how does it work?
Well thats all folks!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, 22 July 2007
today mum fiancee moved in
today Mums fiancee finally moved in he came with four bags in all lol not much at all. I havnt seen much of them since then.
this gonna be a short blog because im too medicated to write one. Rux an kady sharong my bed ughhh so i got two dogs instead of one now lol.
Thats all folks
this gonna be a short blog because im too medicated to write one. Rux an kady sharong my bed ughhh so i got two dogs instead of one now lol.
Thats all folks
Saturday, 21 July 2007
Im such a curious one today
I'm so curious today I felt like doing some new learning. I asked myself the question why does the human eye change colour to reflect our inner mood/emotions? And guess what I could not find a definitive answer. I understand the theory behind the human eye and it's workings but that has no bearing on the eyes reaction to the human mood. Instead I came across a wonderful read on the internet for those who like philosophy this is a good read here is the address. http://www.light-lodge-alpha.org/3rdeye.htm
I have to admit it fascinated me I have always wondered on lifes little mysteries.
I'm still not well though which sucks I can barely open my jaw to chew it. I am considering taking another tramadol for the day but the thought of feeling like I have been drinking worries me. I slept so well last night I mustve needed it. My temp spiked 104F today eww and yet physically aside from the pain I feel fine.
I'm just watching the storm roll in we have dark skies and the temperature has dropped, can feel a slight chil in the air and the air smells fresh like icey cold fresh which is a smell I associate with winter. I think it might rain which is needed.
Thats all for the day folks
I have to admit it fascinated me I have always wondered on lifes little mysteries.
I'm still not well though which sucks I can barely open my jaw to chew it. I am considering taking another tramadol for the day but the thought of feeling like I have been drinking worries me. I slept so well last night I mustve needed it. My temp spiked 104F today eww and yet physically aside from the pain I feel fine.
I'm just watching the storm roll in we have dark skies and the temperature has dropped, can feel a slight chil in the air and the air smells fresh like icey cold fresh which is a smell I associate with winter. I think it might rain which is needed.
Thats all for the day folks
Friday, 20 July 2007
Today has been a painful day
Well I woke up this morning to find the left side of my face felt like id been punched really hard. I was fine when I went to bed last night no aches or pains, think there was slight pain in mouth but nothing to warrent feeling like I do.
All I know is I hurt from my cheek right to halfway down neck and along the jaw. If touch a point I jump so I think it may be my glands or a potential ear infection as the pain is so localised to my ear.( I'm prone to them due to having to wear hearing aids)
I had temp of 103f which I didn't expect. Laughs I'm trying not to dribble with the pain which I find so embarressing and it annoys me as well. So I'm on tramadol which has worked a bit although I feel like I've been drinking for a few hours wow I didn't know they were so strong. One is enough for me though wohoooo.
Mum got to spend few hours with her fiancee he popped round which cheered her up hugely, specially since she had a migrane this morning. He was asking me about computers and memory problems. Why me lol anything someone needs to know about computers in my family the ask me.
What else Oh yeh I love being kicked by my dog lol she keeps nesting in my quilt and tries to hog the whole thing. Hey I feel the temperature difference too but noooooo not good enough for kady she has to have whole quilt or pillows.
well thats all folks!!!!!!
All I know is I hurt from my cheek right to halfway down neck and along the jaw. If touch a point I jump so I think it may be my glands or a potential ear infection as the pain is so localised to my ear.( I'm prone to them due to having to wear hearing aids)
I had temp of 103f which I didn't expect. Laughs I'm trying not to dribble with the pain which I find so embarressing and it annoys me as well. So I'm on tramadol which has worked a bit although I feel like I've been drinking for a few hours wow I didn't know they were so strong. One is enough for me though wohoooo.
Mum got to spend few hours with her fiancee he popped round which cheered her up hugely, specially since she had a migrane this morning. He was asking me about computers and memory problems. Why me lol anything someone needs to know about computers in my family the ask me.
What else Oh yeh I love being kicked by my dog lol she keeps nesting in my quilt and tries to hog the whole thing. Hey I feel the temperature difference too but noooooo not good enough for kady she has to have whole quilt or pillows.
well thats all folks!!!!!!
Wednesday, 18 July 2007
I hate manic days
well after an early start we all ran round tidying still the last few bits before viewer came round.
I could've stayed in bed for longer but had no choice in the matter. He had offered us less than the origional so called buyers but says it will be paid for in CASH omg so much simpler. No waiting on mortgage offers. No fussing about. They paying for everything including all the fees and what not. He has even allowing us to stay in the house rent free for 3 months which is great =0)
We can now finally say 10 days time we will be ready to put a deposit down on new place to rent wherever that is lol. The viewer was very polite and down to earth and it helped considering other ones were fobbing us off left right and centre, Turns out reason it is all delayed was because they hadnt even received a mortgage quote. They should've thought about that before putting an offer in. So mum rang them and said forget it I cant keep hanging around another month before you decided that you can't get a mortgage they've had four weeks in all to look.
Lets see with all that I managed to have a migrane slept for few hours and woke up and felt better. I'm wondering how the day will be tomorrow hehe.
well thats all folks for the day!!!!
I could've stayed in bed for longer but had no choice in the matter. He had offered us less than the origional so called buyers but says it will be paid for in CASH omg so much simpler. No waiting on mortgage offers. No fussing about. They paying for everything including all the fees and what not. He has even allowing us to stay in the house rent free for 3 months which is great =0)
We can now finally say 10 days time we will be ready to put a deposit down on new place to rent wherever that is lol. The viewer was very polite and down to earth and it helped considering other ones were fobbing us off left right and centre, Turns out reason it is all delayed was because they hadnt even received a mortgage quote. They should've thought about that before putting an offer in. So mum rang them and said forget it I cant keep hanging around another month before you decided that you can't get a mortgage they've had four weeks in all to look.
Lets see with all that I managed to have a migrane slept for few hours and woke up and felt better. I'm wondering how the day will be tomorrow hehe.
well thats all folks for the day!!!!
Tuesday, 17 July 2007
OMG what else can go wrong
Well lets see today has been a nightmare. Gotta love it when things go wrong so badly.
Our house has supposedly been sold yeh right. We thought we were exchanging last week and it kept being delayed but now we have been told it will take another month at least to complete. Now when we origionally agreed to sell under the asking price we were promised it would be complete in four weeks. Now four weeks has turned to eight weeks and my poor mum is so upset and worried. She has accepted another viewer for the house which is coming to view tomorrow, that's less than a days notice so we have all been tidying, hoovering, washing and just generally loosing the plot. Great times because I just can't help but laugh and see the funny side of it. (I have a weird sense of humour)
Well I went to withdraw some money from my bank account and found i had £180 worth of charges roughtly $375 by my bank. It's not my fault I dont have enough income since I left my course due to the move and the fact I couldnt afford to go to CRB check it sucks. Thats half my DLA and a bit more. so with my cards I have but $40 dollers to live off till next month. Hmnnnnnn how do i stretch $40 for a month impossible but heck it funny in a way because I just fail to let it get me down. And I just thank the institution of banking ombusment. They should just cut all charges when your on a seriously low income but the hounds just won't stop coming at you till ya blood runs dry and your lying on the floor screaming what more do you people want. LMAO and they are the ones complaining on debt in UK being so high well gee whiz I wonder why when they keep charging the average joe $60 dollers a pop for each bill they cant afford to pay. Which means we just sink and sink and sink untill we either win the lottery or pop our clogs. Maybe I should just vanish into thin air and run LOL wouldn't it be nice but heck no I'm not that type of person I'll stand my ground. Defient till the end!!!!!
To all the banks in the UK you wankers ain't getting to me because you all can roll over and die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only good thing of the day is that I got my appointment for jobseekers next week which will help moneywise at the same time. But the bad side I have to sign on every two weeks untill
A) I find a job
B) I start my nursing course again in the area where we move to or
C) Win the lottery.
All bets being taken on which one will come first please attend the Howlett's betting office to place your bets. =0D
And last but not least my mum's fiancee is running away (AGAIN) everytime something happens at his house he runs off to Jordan. Coping mechanism of his which is the only bad thing about him. I'm not going into specifics as it's a private part of his life and is attatched to his past before he met mum. Nothing bad just it's too personal for me to blog.
That's all for the day
Our house has supposedly been sold yeh right. We thought we were exchanging last week and it kept being delayed but now we have been told it will take another month at least to complete. Now when we origionally agreed to sell under the asking price we were promised it would be complete in four weeks. Now four weeks has turned to eight weeks and my poor mum is so upset and worried. She has accepted another viewer for the house which is coming to view tomorrow, that's less than a days notice so we have all been tidying, hoovering, washing and just generally loosing the plot. Great times because I just can't help but laugh and see the funny side of it. (I have a weird sense of humour)
Well I went to withdraw some money from my bank account and found i had £180 worth of charges roughtly $375 by my bank. It's not my fault I dont have enough income since I left my course due to the move and the fact I couldnt afford to go to CRB check it sucks. Thats half my DLA and a bit more. so with my cards I have but $40 dollers to live off till next month. Hmnnnnnn how do i stretch $40 for a month impossible but heck it funny in a way because I just fail to let it get me down. And I just thank the institution of banking ombusment. They should just cut all charges when your on a seriously low income but the hounds just won't stop coming at you till ya blood runs dry and your lying on the floor screaming what more do you people want. LMAO and they are the ones complaining on debt in UK being so high well gee whiz I wonder why when they keep charging the average joe $60 dollers a pop for each bill they cant afford to pay. Which means we just sink and sink and sink untill we either win the lottery or pop our clogs. Maybe I should just vanish into thin air and run LOL wouldn't it be nice but heck no I'm not that type of person I'll stand my ground. Defient till the end!!!!!
To all the banks in the UK you wankers ain't getting to me because you all can roll over and die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only good thing of the day is that I got my appointment for jobseekers next week which will help moneywise at the same time. But the bad side I have to sign on every two weeks untill
A) I find a job
B) I start my nursing course again in the area where we move to or
C) Win the lottery.
All bets being taken on which one will come first please attend the Howlett's betting office to place your bets. =0D
And last but not least my mum's fiancee is running away (AGAIN) everytime something happens at his house he runs off to Jordan. Coping mechanism of his which is the only bad thing about him. I'm not going into specifics as it's a private part of his life and is attatched to his past before he met mum. Nothing bad just it's too personal for me to blog.
That's all for the day
Friday, 13 July 2007
Same old
Lets see Hmm today has been interesting.
First I woke up to find out that we full on complete on house monday (delays with poststrike postponed bits)
Then I learn I had been forgotten about when mum brought everyone a cake except me. And my whole family sat and rubbed my face in it. Ha last time i do anything for them shows how much i'm appreciated. >=0( Sod them all.
My mum been in a foul mood all day brothers keep demanding stuff off her lifts for stuff and money for bits and pick up middle brothers girlfreind. And she has the audacity to take it out on ME i'm starting to seriousy get pised off with this sort of crap. It's not me demanding lifts here there and everywhere. It's not me borrowing money left right and centre.
What do I do.
Then I find out my middle brother has tried to accuse me of going in my mums room while she was away. Firstly I NEVER EVER go into my mums room unless she asks or needs me to find something. Secondly I went in there one time to get her pillow for Rux as a familiar smell. Little shit went upstairs on a daily basis amount of times i found mums bedroom door open. I kept shutting it. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR me my mother and my youngest brother have caught middle brother numerous occassons of times going through ours and mums bedroom. The excuse is "i'm looking for a DVD"
Last but not least my mom even tried to say she didnt believe either of us until I told her point blank it wasnt me and she knows when I'm lying.
I just feel like i've been taken for granted, taken for a mug, a fool. I'm the one she turns too when she Fucks off abroad or on a break. She knows me so well enough to know I totally respect her privacy and her domain for privacy is her bedroom. Likewise with everyone in the house I don't go in their bedrooms if I need something I ask or knock before hand.
Once I spoke it through with my mum she was fine after that. But i'm sure if she continues the playing me off with my brother i'll be having it out with HER. Yes she may be my mother but this playing us off against eachother is stirring the shit up. It's a new thing for her and I don't know why or what the fuck is possessing her to behave in such a rediculous manner. It's childish and unbecoming of her. She acused me of being sarcastic today and I was messing about. Many of you know me for my dry wit at the best of times. So I just said im joking. Her reply don't joke with me" WTF I'm not allowed to joke or be myself. I feel like crying I'm so desperate to get away from this negative attitude im tired of this shit and have nowhere to go. =0(. She can drive to her fiancee's. Middle bro can go to his gf youngest bro can go to his mates. Where have I got NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I apologise for my language which is rare for me but I'm speaking my mind and when i speak my mind when i'm angry or sad bad language comes out.
First I woke up to find out that we full on complete on house monday (delays with poststrike postponed bits)
Then I learn I had been forgotten about when mum brought everyone a cake except me. And my whole family sat and rubbed my face in it. Ha last time i do anything for them shows how much i'm appreciated. >=0( Sod them all.
My mum been in a foul mood all day brothers keep demanding stuff off her lifts for stuff and money for bits and pick up middle brothers girlfreind. And she has the audacity to take it out on ME i'm starting to seriousy get pised off with this sort of crap. It's not me demanding lifts here there and everywhere. It's not me borrowing money left right and centre.
What do I do.
Then I find out my middle brother has tried to accuse me of going in my mums room while she was away. Firstly I NEVER EVER go into my mums room unless she asks or needs me to find something. Secondly I went in there one time to get her pillow for Rux as a familiar smell. Little shit went upstairs on a daily basis amount of times i found mums bedroom door open. I kept shutting it. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR me my mother and my youngest brother have caught middle brother numerous occassons of times going through ours and mums bedroom. The excuse is "i'm looking for a DVD"
Last but not least my mom even tried to say she didnt believe either of us until I told her point blank it wasnt me and she knows when I'm lying.
I just feel like i've been taken for granted, taken for a mug, a fool. I'm the one she turns too when she Fucks off abroad or on a break. She knows me so well enough to know I totally respect her privacy and her domain for privacy is her bedroom. Likewise with everyone in the house I don't go in their bedrooms if I need something I ask or knock before hand.
Once I spoke it through with my mum she was fine after that. But i'm sure if she continues the playing me off with my brother i'll be having it out with HER. Yes she may be my mother but this playing us off against eachother is stirring the shit up. It's a new thing for her and I don't know why or what the fuck is possessing her to behave in such a rediculous manner. It's childish and unbecoming of her. She acused me of being sarcastic today and I was messing about. Many of you know me for my dry wit at the best of times. So I just said im joking. Her reply don't joke with me" WTF I'm not allowed to joke or be myself. I feel like crying I'm so desperate to get away from this negative attitude im tired of this shit and have nowhere to go. =0(. She can drive to her fiancee's. Middle bro can go to his gf youngest bro can go to his mates. Where have I got NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I apologise for my language which is rare for me but I'm speaking my mind and when i speak my mind when i'm angry or sad bad language comes out.
Tuesday, 10 July 2007
why do we have dogs
well as you can guess my dog went on a pillow rampage this morning. She decided to sleep on my head and hog my pillow. Wait a minute where was the invite!!! I was grumpy grouchy tired and tetchy. I usually wake up in a good mood but heck I was a bear with a sore head. It gt so bad I kept catnapping in chair in lounge when i got super tired. Eventually I cheered up and was back to my usuall self.
Following my grump time I decided to trty and set up an online radio station heck is it hard I just coldnt get there I gave up after two hours of trying, I am not paying 200 usd either lol ontop of monthly subscription to streaming. I got the program on trial but that as far as I got.
Maybe another day eh.
Following my grump time I decided to trty and set up an online radio station heck is it hard I just coldnt get there I gave up after two hours of trying, I am not paying 200 usd either lol ontop of monthly subscription to streaming. I got the program on trial but that as far as I got.
Maybe another day eh.
Monday, 9 July 2007
Our house is finally sold
Our house has been sold. Mum had a call today which means we now have to pack and also find another house. Hoping we don't have a rush to pack and move. Admittedly we are sad in a way. Mum broke down crying when she found out with happiness and sadness at the same time. We said this house was the last tie we had to our father who passed away in April 2000. Here is the start of a new adventure. We will here more very soon I hope. It now feels so weird it not our house anymore lol just a place we are staying in. Hmn lets see Im going to have to sort my boxes out, clothes and what not as I don't have much anyways which helps it will be sorting out mum's stuff and bits.
Sunday, 8 July 2007
Blahh blahhhh blahh
Lets see this is fun.
I'm already addicted to blogging I can see myself blogging allllll day. Oh my god and to be truthful I always said whats the addiction with blogging. I have to thank my Ma Dobie hehe, thanks Ma.
What's on my mind right now.
Relationships
I have seen many fail and many succeed..
The one question I have always asked myself and had many a chat with freinds and family
What makes a relationship work?
I do beleive in soulmates but surely there is more to it than just love and soulmates.
How is it we can see someone everyday and just love them as a freind and nothing more yet someone we might not see every day we love them in a deeper way past freindship.
Parhaps it's the thought they are always on the mind that you can have deep and meaningful converstation just a single touch or look or word just shows all meaning. I always felt if you love someone you dont say I love you every 5 mins.
How is some long distance relationships fail yet other survive. Trust I guess lol. I have had a few long distance ones which have failed misrebly due to time differences and what not, I'm in one at the moment but i'm making no plans. I love him and I have known him for a very long time we were good freinds for many years we lost contact but heck its a nice feeling to be back with my parter.
Maybe its freindship that makes for the stronger relationships to develop further lol, who knows .
Blah had enough of deep and meaningful thinking
I'm already addicted to blogging I can see myself blogging allllll day. Oh my god and to be truthful I always said whats the addiction with blogging. I have to thank my Ma Dobie hehe, thanks Ma.
What's on my mind right now.
Relationships
I have seen many fail and many succeed..
The one question I have always asked myself and had many a chat with freinds and family
What makes a relationship work?
I do beleive in soulmates but surely there is more to it than just love and soulmates.
How is it we can see someone everyday and just love them as a freind and nothing more yet someone we might not see every day we love them in a deeper way past freindship.
Parhaps it's the thought they are always on the mind that you can have deep and meaningful converstation just a single touch or look or word just shows all meaning. I always felt if you love someone you dont say I love you every 5 mins.
How is some long distance relationships fail yet other survive. Trust I guess lol. I have had a few long distance ones which have failed misrebly due to time differences and what not, I'm in one at the moment but i'm making no plans. I love him and I have known him for a very long time we were good freinds for many years we lost contact but heck its a nice feeling to be back with my parter.
Maybe its freindship that makes for the stronger relationships to develop further lol, who knows .
Blah had enough of deep and meaningful thinking
It's official I've left my nursing course
It's official I've left the nursing course as of July the 7th. I lasted nine months which i'm proud of but terribly sad to leave the course. I worked for three years to get the experience I needed but at least I know it was worth it. The end was coming due to many events in the last nine months I guess somehow I knew it was inevitable that I would leave at somepoint. The forthcoming move is the main one and the final pushing point as soon as I heard we were moving my fate was sealed.
As few of you know my Mum got diagnosed with bipolar disorder within weeks of me starting the course. I am one of the main carers alongside my brothers during the course I remained my Mum's advocate in all things financial and emotional (I did volunteer work as a Mental Health Advocate for 8 months). The other swaying factor was my house got flooded and we were in limbo for about 2 and a bit months with all the redecorating and moving between hotels. It messed with my stability I lost track with the coursework and was never able to catch up.
My origional plan was to intermit (restart a particular module by back tracking sixth months). In a way I'm glad I didn't as it would've been pointless with the move now.
Some will probably ask why didn't you try and stay and complete the course. Well my responce to that is I'm swimming in debts financially trying to keep the family afloat with my bursery. Plus with the income I have there is no way I could stay in student accomadation it's too expensice. And lastly it's a fresh start the move has been due so long. I could never be so far away from my family they are too important to me.
I've decided I'm going to sign back on with jobseekers and hunt for a caring job in the lincolshire area for when we move. If in a years time things are still settled I might apply to a local university and restart the course fingers crossed. I'm tired of making life plans I had so many plans and thoughts when I started the course I was so sure I'd complete it. Guess I was wrong. It was the first time in years I'd satdown and thought of my future. I've learnt once again not to make plans anymore just to experience what life has to offer.
Who knows what my future holds but I await with anticipation at the new horizon.
As few of you know my Mum got diagnosed with bipolar disorder within weeks of me starting the course. I am one of the main carers alongside my brothers during the course I remained my Mum's advocate in all things financial and emotional (I did volunteer work as a Mental Health Advocate for 8 months). The other swaying factor was my house got flooded and we were in limbo for about 2 and a bit months with all the redecorating and moving between hotels. It messed with my stability I lost track with the coursework and was never able to catch up.
My origional plan was to intermit (restart a particular module by back tracking sixth months). In a way I'm glad I didn't as it would've been pointless with the move now.
Some will probably ask why didn't you try and stay and complete the course. Well my responce to that is I'm swimming in debts financially trying to keep the family afloat with my bursery. Plus with the income I have there is no way I could stay in student accomadation it's too expensice. And lastly it's a fresh start the move has been due so long. I could never be so far away from my family they are too important to me.
I've decided I'm going to sign back on with jobseekers and hunt for a caring job in the lincolshire area for when we move. If in a years time things are still settled I might apply to a local university and restart the course fingers crossed. I'm tired of making life plans I had so many plans and thoughts when I started the course I was so sure I'd complete it. Guess I was wrong. It was the first time in years I'd satdown and thought of my future. I've learnt once again not to make plans anymore just to experience what life has to offer.
Who knows what my future holds but I await with anticipation at the new horizon.
As some know I'm moving!!
Well as many of you know we are in the process of getting ready to move. We are trying to move to the Lincolnshire area, but it's difficult finding a place when alot of people have been left homeless and forced to move into rented accommodation due to the severe flooding.
Mum went to view two houses only to find the bedrooms too small. We had previously received information on two four bedroom houses. The first one we fell in love with the owner deciding she no longer wanted to rent out the property. The second house had tenants apply and they got the house so in all we have lost two houses and found two houses that were too small.
We are now hunting for a three bedroom house with two reception rooms, this is so that one of the rooms can be converted into a study/bedroom. It's a tough task and it's me and Torie hunting on websites whenever we have the chance.
Admittedly I'm anxious and scared but also very excited to be moving. It's a family move which I hope will give us all a fresh start away from the area. I have been packing a little and been thinking of what I really want and need to take with me on the move , I have so much stuff in boxes under my bed.
I'm kinda fed up with house hunting. But it's a must or it won't get done
Mum went to view two houses only to find the bedrooms too small. We had previously received information on two four bedroom houses. The first one we fell in love with the owner deciding she no longer wanted to rent out the property. The second house had tenants apply and they got the house so in all we have lost two houses and found two houses that were too small.
We are now hunting for a three bedroom house with two reception rooms, this is so that one of the rooms can be converted into a study/bedroom. It's a tough task and it's me and Torie hunting on websites whenever we have the chance.
Admittedly I'm anxious and scared but also very excited to be moving. It's a family move which I hope will give us all a fresh start away from the area. I have been packing a little and been thinking of what I really want and need to take with me on the move , I have so much stuff in boxes under my bed.
I'm kinda fed up with house hunting. But it's a must or it won't get done
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