3rd of Jan 2008

This is my first 2008 blog. Happy New Year!!
I saw the new year in after sleeping and missing my new year I sat and talked to two verty good freinds of mine Ma Dobie (dorethy) and twinners sassy (angela) we counted each others New year in and spoke on voice as it was our way of spending time together. We had a giggle and a laugh and i'm glad i got to share in something like that. I missed last years because of being at uni and promised i'd see this years in with them both..

My new year started by me letting my ex go I love him so I set him free as I feel that is what he wanted I had waited to long for an answer and never got one so I let him go with sadness b ut I know it was time to face the truth, I love him and always have done and want him to be happy...

Today I woke up after some sleep which went on 13 odd hours with a heavy heart, i'd been dreaming of my ex and had some symbolic dreams. It left me feeling confused as for a fleeting moment i'd forgotten i'd let him go.

I looked out the window to find it had snowed smiles it looked like petals or feathers were falling from the sky, first thing that made me smile today i'd been hoping for snow for so long.. I got my wish but i'm not allowed outside to enjoy it like so many previous years, i have bronchiatus and trying to recover from it.

Someone told me that.. because your heart is broken your too tired to fight off the bug it's your way of crashing trying to find the strngth to heal both my heart and body is hard when it both that need healing..all i can do is sleep.. i've never been like this before. Last time I managed to carry on without any illness when we split up last time. This time I guess it's knocked me harder than I cared to admit. I'm recovering my heart slowly but the body taking longer..

There are moments when I think of my hope that he finds someone to love him and give him what he needs and give him the happiness in life I wanted for him.. it breaks my heart saying it but I smile in memories and find the strenth to heal myself slowly.. i'm never going to forget him I never could..

Thats all for the day folks....