seems im writing almost everyday

I am in an artistic reflective mode...

I decided yesterday after a rather mean and dark blog on myspace I no longer want to be that dark and angry..I was lashing out at myself and I should not have done that.
The only thing it accomplished was to get rid of the mood that had been stewing for months. And yesterday it finally came out. I have to admit I even scared myself after reading it because it was so unlike me, I was hurting, I was angry with myself for letting Carl go. I was fuelled with regrets and thought myself weak for not really saying how I felt. There are moments in my life when I have taken so much that part of me hates myself for it and will lash out at those closest to me. I avoided company for a while because of it. I don't like people seeing me so hurt and bitter or angry. Yes for such a jovial person I can be full of anger and regrets. The darker side of me comes out. The one who is mean and nasty and almost spiteful because I can hit the truth right on the head. I will pick someones weakest point and hurt them with it. Doesnt happen often but i did yesterday.

I feel so much better no its been and gone..i guess with the bronciatus I am always tired.
Sleep has been so important to me heck i tried to go out for bit by time i got back I was ready to curl up and sleep it tired me out so fast. Usually I can keep going for a long time. But its small steps at a time soon i'll be back to my healthy self. Even my mom said this is rare you were tired by time you got back could see it in your face. Gee I think that was her way of saying I looked like shit lol. So glad no one can see me and myself at my worst I swear I look like a haunted person lmao.

Still researching on a course i'd like to do this year. I want to really get a qualification but not 100% sure in what though. I've got a while before I need to decide I looked at local college and was disappointed in the choice they had. There is another one but its almost an hour commute, i've done that once at uni and I tell ya it bloody tiring waiting on trains and stuff. Didnt really want to do that long a commute everyday but will look into it some more as they have a better choice.
I guess that's it for the day folks!!!!!!!!!

It does not suit my way of thinking